THE Accelerated PERSONAL EVALUATION PROGRAM
 (PEP)

HOW TO THINK FORWARD: HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD 


The personal evaluation program differs from standard recovery by showing and teaching you how to progress and evaluate your thinking processes to change yourself. It is rapid adaption at its core.
  It does this with four processes that can provide concrete and practical solutions.
1. It provides a very very clear definition of what recovery actually is.
2. It shows how to navigate or where to find solutions to problems quickly.
3. The program gives you the tools and skills to know what will happen while you're processing recovery for practical change.
4. With knowing what will happen in a recovery process you can increase your self-responsibility to advance and change.

* Usually recovery in any form from addiction and drugs or from anxiety, abuse, rage, relationships or even habits takes an endless amount of discussion an endless amount of trial and error and endless resets which are emotionally time-consuming and draining while you wait for your life to restart.
  Typically recovery has been a self-discovery process and not a very clear let's say that again, not a very clear self-examination process... It's easy to get lost and repeat problems.

The Personal Evaluation Program provides the skills to move past these roadblocks, quickly and effectively...

  Let's begin.

 THE PROCESS OF SELF DEVELOPMENT

DEVELOPED JANUARY 25, 2023 BY ROBERT WALLACE

The PEP Program

***** HOW TO PROCESS AND “PROGRESS” YOURSELF

THE SKILLS FOR ENTERING PERSONAL EVALUATION

WHAT IS PERSONAL EVALUATION?

PEP IS a simple set of tools to help you enter, navigate, or maximize, recovery and support, quickly and effectively.

WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU?

Rapid PERSONAL EVALUATION and recovery can help you save time, money, and avoid unnecessary stress and repetitive behaviors.  This rapid and effective program gives you the skills and necessary knowledge to have a very successful support platform.  It can assist you in very practical self- evaluation and change.
 The skills are easy to understand and easy to apply in all life situations.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO COMPLETE THE INSTRUCTION?

Most of the information is concise and designed to be useable for application by a person within about 1 and 1/2 hours. A one time follow up after completing the program is suggested. Although this may seem a short amount of time to complete an instruction process, we have found that the simplicity of the information is easy to understand and utilize to create deep cognitive changes in solution based processing.

*** Disclaimer: We do not provide licensed counseling. The principles below are based on scriptural wisdom and not therapeutic assessment.

This program does however, provide free Personal Evaluation Skills and information that will help you transition into or out of change and needed support.

PLEASE BE ADVISED: Although the skills in this program are fairly easy to understand, they are born of unique and cutting edge ideas.  They will likely be concepts you have never heard of or been involved with before.  Don't let this frighten you.  THEY WORK.  Stick with it and you will discover the richness and practicality of each new idea...promise.  Let's begin.

THE PERSONAL EVALUATION PROGRAM
     The PEP PROGRAM 

The following will provide you with a step by step explanation of the Personal Evaluation Program.  At the end of the program, you can elect to contact us by email if you are interested in receiving more personal and helpful support. We would be greatly interested in any way we can assist you in a path forward to a greater success in personal growth.

This is a short step by step program best followed with assistance.  But, if you are adventurous, you can try to navigate it alone.  If you find that you would like the benefit of guidance, please email us at the contact link and we will be glad to walk you through the entire program in about an hour.

THE PERSONAL EVALUATION PROGRAM

DEVELOPED BY
 Robert Wallace  
 December 2022

  PERSONAL EVALUATION

*** Providing a person with the target points, skills, goals, and clear navigation needed through self- evaluation.

SKILL SET #1 THE TARGETS

1. The purpose of EVALUATION and Transformation: The Target Goals. This is what you should be able to understand and process.

1. FIRST GOAL:

***BALANCE or STABILITY of wanting vs doing***

A.  Are you able to change inside and outside in a  “Successful DAILY” pattern?

B.  Are your FEELINGS and GOALS “Reasonable” both inside and outside?

C.  Can you balance what you WANT with what you DO, DAILY?

Visualization assist:
    Picture yourself on a SEE SAW, balancing the above qualities, to bring your self evaluation into a clear manageable focus. What you WANT, is to attempt to be balanced on this teater totter with what you will DO today. You are watching yourself balance what you want with what you will do today. The more vivid the picture you build and construct, the easier it will be to evaluate your balancing attempt. Can you daily balance want with 
 doing?

2. SECOND GOAL:

***CONGRUENCE or EQUALITY of your authentic self inside AND outside***

A.  Do you present yourself to others as the same person  inside as outside, privately as socially?

Visualization assist:
    Picture this as a set of RAILROAD TRACKS that are equal distance apart to keep a train on track and not derail or crash your successes both inside and outside. Is the path you are on consistently equal? Are you unequal and derailing yourself?

3. THIRD GOAL:

***REGULATION or CONTROL of your emotions*"* 

A.  Are you in DAILY control of most of your emotions?

B.  Are your feelings about ANY given event MODERATE on a DAILY basis?

C. Can you let go, forgive and move forward from past memories of pain?

   Visualization Assist

Picture a skinny BALLOON MAN like at a used car dealership whose arms and body flap in the wind out of control…is this you?
 Are you mostly upright with a CONSISTENT DAILY gentle pressure, maintaining your stature, or are you flapping out of control like a balloon man in the wind.

** The advantage of “DAILY'’ practicing and reaching these 3 target goals in evaluation is…RAPID SELF AWARENESS AND RAPID ADAPTION AND CHANGE OF BASIC LEVEL BEHAVIORS

  
 SKILL SET #2 PAST AND FUTURE PROBLEMS

  The Problem with the past and the future

  Both the past and future are stored and coded in the mind as a viewable MOVIE.
 For example: recall (past) or project (future) any memory you wish to recall. If you try to do this, you will quickly find out that you can do several things with this movie memory.

1. You can change it’s color.
 2. You can slow it down or speed it up.
 3. You can place yourself anywhere in the scene.
 4. You can become the good guy or the bad guy in the movie.
 5. You can make objects and people larger or smaller.
 6. You can zoom out or zoom in on the view.
 7. You can place yourself outside of the action and watch the scene as a bystander.

This ability not only proves that active memory is like a movie, but that you can control memory at will. Emotions will then follow the action of the change you are enacting, as you view the movie in differing phases. 

**EMOTIONS "ALWAYS FOLLOW" THE MEMORY MOVIE YOU ARE WATCHING.

 This is not a mind trick, but a working perceptive tool into how our memory stores and processes narratives or (memory stories)

*** We are not the captives of our memories we believe ourselves to be.  With perceptive changes, we can change the memorirs of the past and the future.  THEN, then, after you have altered your perceptive memory, your emotions can follow in a REASONABLY desired pattern.  This is a  powerful tool that can be used to overcome both resentment from the past and anxiety from the future, keeping you focused on today’s efforts to change and accept your situations.  Your emotions will level out and your expectations of life and your responses to it will become increasingly more balanced and accepting of changes.  In effect, you can REWIRE and REWRITE YOUR BRAIN memories and alterable picture perceptions to change the stubborn narratives stuck there.  This will allow you to thrive in the present environment around and inside of you. Self evaluation and self guidance becomes a reality, allowing you to move freely and welcoming you productively into most situations that have been thrown your way.

  Understanding these movie constructs from memory, helps to to realize that the mind and emotions are a problem and puzzle solver, the TOOL to solve our life’s puzzles. Our emotions become the warning signs that are saying to us, you didn’t solve this puzzle, you’ve got to solve this puzzle or even you can’t solve this puzzle. That’s what the emotions tell us. So the mind is the solver. The emotions are the alarm, telling us we have to get something done. 
    How does this work? 
 By using STORIES or NARRATIVES: the mind  makes memory pictures or moving pictures on time, with color, objects, settings and other people. Kind of our own private movie theater. It makes a movie for us that we can enter, change, speed up, slow down, put ourselves in a different place, zoom in or zoom out even be the good guy or the bad guy. This is how a narrative, our “MIND STORY” , our "MOVIES" work. And, most EVERYTHING in memory becomes and evolves into a mind story recalled as a descriptive movie.
   But sometimes, we can have difficulties with storing and retrieving these memory movies harmlessly. These internal movie memories can become biased or even distorted as we view them.  In fact, every time we watch them, they reconstruct, and build change and update.  They can even be distributed and tie themselves into other memories not even related to the original.  If this happens, we lose clarity and a balanced perspective and try to create new coping mechanisms to handle the new emotions created after watching the combined new memory and constructed movie.

SKILL SET #3 TRIGGERING AND SHIFTING

     The main recurring mind stories that each one of us is forced to deal with is the PAST, driven by either fear or resentment.  This happens because of the instinctive need to provide ourselves with a perceptive sense of SAFETY.  Memories based in fear help keep us safe.  Memories of resentment keep us at an emotional distance, UNTIL we are ready to change ourselves. The triggers of the past are almost always "Fear and Resentment”.

Our "Past Resentment" movies are usually about “HOW COME”.  These are how come movies and memories…HOW COME I’m so angry at them...how come they did this to me... how come I lost this... how come I can’t figure this out... how come, how come there’s so much pain.

The stories and movies of the future are usually about WHAT WILL HAPPEN… what will happen IF... what will happen IF NOT. I may not be able to handle it, IF this happens.  The future movies are always SHIFTING on us and that can cause uncertainty and anxiety. During times of confusion and anxiety, these type of movies and emotions can easily become the primary movie story of the future.

  The difficulty in this type of "Shifting Processing", is that it toggles back and forth between past and future memories and thoughts. **And then, the emotions are required to respond to this rubber band tug of war hundreds of times within literal MILLISECONDS .

   If you need proof of this, try it out for yourself.  Select a charged or difficult memory to watch and see how it jumps back and forth between the PAST AND FUTURE within A TENTH OF A SECOND and then it REPEATS ITSELF over and over, leaving you with all of the emotions to sort out again and again.

  How and why are you ever supposed to get beyond this repetitive process and create calming emotions…. sure, talking helps, but the memories keep coming back the more you talk about them…We suggest self evaluation and wise self examination.
    
 FIRST, we need to take both the WHY ME me of the PAST and the WHAT IF of the FUTURE and blend the story together to meet in the middle. What does that give you? It gives you TODAY… .the PRESENT. What we all, each one of us has, is only TODAY…nothing more. Beyond that, we begin to accumulate many, many more narratives and movies that pile up and become ASSOCIATED MEMORIES stored on top of each other.  These associated memories vie for our attention and emotions as real time perceptions, but are not located in real time processing. They stack up like books in a library waiting to be opened when a trigger calls them forth. And that can be very difficult to overcome. 

**The most complete and practical solution to past and future memories that do this repeating "ping ponging" process back and forth, is to act accept and process in the PRESENT.  

  **And that means to live DAY BY DAY.  This can be difficult at the start, but it is really all we have. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn’t with us…but we have graciously been given TODAY as our own, to live and grow in.

We can begin to do this by LETTING GO of yesterday and tomorrow and making DAILY DECISIONS.

Here is the advantage of staying in the present:

   RAPID ADAPTION: not unmistakable success, but rapid adaption to internal and external demands.

SKILL SET #4 WATCH YOUR CONSTRUCTS

  Watch your mind CONSTRUCT and store memories

Your memories are constructed narratives and stories. Every single one of them you have built and stored within your mind and your memory. Knowing that you can shape them, adapt them and change them gives you the ability to understand how you store all the information you need to function, evaluate and make decisions for the future.

  There are effectively three major levels of MEMORY CONSTRUCTS . Each one is designed for a specific purpose. And each one has a deeper level than the one above it and a deeper purpose of processing your memories.

The first level of MEMORY CONSTRUCTING is what are  called TEMPORARY CONSTRUCTS. This is the level where you build memories and perceptions to try out what you want or think you need. These groups of memories are built solely to help you decide what you need.  They are temporary and flexible and move in and out of thought and the outside world very easily. They exist to help you make choices and see what your options are in any given situation. Temporary constructs or temporary narratives or temporary stories or temporary movies are just that, they are TEMPORARY. They are flexible and impermanent, built only for temporary examination and weighing out choices. After a choice has been made, they can be eadily deconstructed and dismantled by our minds to make room for other temporary constructs.

  The second level of MEMORY CONSTRUCTING is built with DISTRIBUTIVE CONSTRUCTS. This is the level where you start to categorize memories into groups that are distributed or layered with other memories almost as if they were layered on top of one another.
 One narrative or memory is evaluated and associated and distributed to other similar memories. Kind of like this one is like this one and this memory is similar to that memory.
    Distributive constructs are decision memories built on the premise of what is SAFE for the individual. Safety and self preservation is the primary function of distributing memories into these groupings. These memories that you build would be similar to a safety handbook or an emergency evacuation planning guide. They also comprise our best list of coping mechanisms. 
   The problem with these constructs is that ideas and memories get placed and distributed along unsimilar memories just to provide a perception of safety. They are not easily deconstructed because they provide a sense of safety for an individual through the process of distribution.

  The third level of MEMORY CONSTRUCTING is built with SYSTEMIC CONSTRUCTS. These constructed memories contain all of our personal belief systems, our biases, and our understanding of ourself and who we are or choose to be.  These memories motivate us at the core of our being and maintain our sense of self, our history of self, and our individuality. These are very fixed and permanent memories which drive us to both repeat behavior patterns as well as maintain our perception of our place in the world. These memories are created by decisions about ourself and the world around us. 

 ** SYSTEMIC CONSTRUCTS  are NOT easily changed as they form the basis of who we are and how we CREATE our self perception.

 Now that you are familiar with the three levels of building memories and constructing narratives, you can begin to watch your own mind categorize and build upon your storage of perception and narratives and memories.

 **Here is the main point to understanding all of this:

EVERY MEMORY IS CONSTRUCTED WITHIN OUR MINDS AND IS CATEGORIZED FOR A PURPOSE. ALL OF THEM ARE ADAPTABLE. THE POINT AT WHICH YOU CAN CHANGE THEM OR ADAPT THEM IS WHEN YOU CAN VIEW WHAT LEVEL THEY’RE BEING STORED AT. WATCH YOUR OWN MIND TO SEE WHERE THE MEMORIES ARE BEING STORED AND AT WHAT LEVEL. HOW ARE THEY CATEGORIZED? ARE THEY TEMPORARY, ARE THEY DISTRIBUTING, OR ARE THEY SYSTEMIC? YOU WILL BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY, HOW AND WHERE YOU HAVE CONSTRUCTED EVERY MEMORY. THE ABILITY TO WATCH THIS PROCESS WILL GIVE YOU THE CHOICE AND INSIGHT TO CHANGE MEMORIES OF THE PAST, MEMORIES THAT ARE HARMFUL, BEHAVIOR THAT IS SELF-DEFEATING AND PERCEPTIONS THAT ARE ABERRATED AND DISTORTED.

  The easy illustrated picture for constructs and understanding the levels of constructs is as follows:

Think of this mnemonic:

C.  choices = Temporary
 D   decisions = Distributive
 C   change = Systemic

  A good visual assist for CONSTRUCTS, is to picture the levels of constructs or narratives or stories as a three level bookshelf...
   On the top of the bookshelf are the easily accessible Temporary books. These books help us make choices and help us decide what we want. We put them on the top shelf and take them off the top shelf as needed helping us decide our choices and what we want. When we’re done with them we get rid of them and find new books to place on the top shelf.

The second shelf is filled with an encyclopedia of decisions. Just like a real encyclopedia, we can’t have any volumes missing or lost. One lost volume will ruin the entire encyclopedia set. The other thing about encyclopedias is that they always point to another volume of reference. They are always distributing information between volume to volume. These are cross referencing data.  For example, if you were to look up the word "Safety' under the  S volume, it would cross reference or distribute the data to several other places and other volumes. The information and memory would lead you to personal care, self protection, emotional safety, physical safety, and many other places. The information is distributed along the entire encyclopedia, all based on decisions that have been made from choices.

  The third or bottom shelf is the most difficult to access.

These are books or stories that are based on the beliefs of WHO we are and HOW we think and process perceptions. These narratives and stories may have gotten there from our mothers, our fathers or friends, or even those things we hold dear and true to ourselves. We take them out when necessary and things have become very deep and very important. Systemic Constructs represent our bottom line of decision making. These are our SACRED BOOKS AND STORIES, OUR SACRED MEMORIES…NO ONE TOUCHES THEM.. These are our ethics and reasons for believing and acting the way we do. These narratives and stories are not easily exchanged or gotten rid of, as they tell us the story of ourselves and others around us.

  **Seeing constructs and narratives in this fashion, like the books on the shelves, can help you understand where your memories reside and why you have placed them there. But again, making changes first begins with understanding where the memory is placed and where they exist in purpose for memory storage.
 If you can begin to see this, and work with it, you will be able to make rapid changes that will "Cascade" into incredible self-awareness and evaluation.

**Again, TEMPORARY CONSTRUCTS contain memories about CHOICES.

DISTRIBUTIVE CONSTRUCTS contain memories about DECISIONS and SAFETY.

SYSTEMIC CONSTRUCTS contain memories about BELIEFS and PERSONAL BIAIS.

***All of memory is CONSTRCTED and categorized in some form or another. Armed with this understanding, you can truly begin to change and adapt yourself to make very positive changes within yourself and the world around you.

****We are all in essence, a living breathing repository of the memories we have constructed to provide us with the evaluation of choices of things we need, provide us with physical and emotional safety and help maintain our belief systems and our sense of unique self.

These narratives and memories allow us to interact with the outside world and determine what we need to change. As we become more self evaluative and aware, we can begin to change the process and the  storage of  memory narratives.  Understanding this clearly will allow you to change the functions of memory and adapt a purpose to suit your needs.

**Watch how you categorize and store these memory movies and you will soon be able to change the storage process at will. This is adaption at it’s best.

****IMPORTANT CONCEPT TO KNOW:**************

************************************ ALMOST ALL EMOTIONS WILL FOLLOW VIEWING A CONSTRUCTED MEMORY MOVIE ... just like when you watch a regular movie, the viewing creates associated feelings…so when you view a memory movie, it will link and create feelings and emotions AFTER you watch it happen…this is a PROCESSING CLUE to BALANCE AND REGULATION of FEELINGS.

SKILL SET #5 LETTING GO

Letting go is CEMENTED ONLY in LIVING IN THE PRESENT, on a day to day basis.  
 **I have found that there is no other way as practical, to let go of yesterday and it's memories, as living in the present and for today alone.
 Each day is enough.

 Let's repeat that one more time: 

**I have found that there is no other way as practical, to let go of yesterday and it's memories, as living in the present and for today alone.
 Each day is enough.

All living things grow INSTINCTIVELY on a day to day basis, with periods of rest and periods of action. This is the flow of all of nature.  We can use this instinctive cycle to grow quickly and resolutely.

But before we can begin to let go, we need to be very CLEAR on the the DIFFERENCE between A CHOICE AND A DECISION.

 *Decisions provide action and growth.  Choices are temporary and provide only short term satisfaction.  So, if you are looking to grow and change, you are best to find a SOLID DIRECTION by making DECISIONS.
 Here is a simple example:

Let me use a narrative or picture to illustrate the difference between a choice and a decision.
 Let’s say that in front of you there is a series of different fruits on a table. There could be a pineapple, a mango an orange or some grapes. Making a choice on which of these fruits you want today from the selection will illustrate what a choice is. A choice is what you want. Let’s say that your choice today is the Mango. So you pick up the mango, you look at it and you say this is my choice, but you haven’t done anything with it. There’s no action that’s been taken with the mango. So you decide to ACT on the CHOICE and make a DECISION. You go to the sink and wash the mango off.
 You peel it and take out the large seed.  Then you cut slices from it and place them in a bowl.  Finally, you eat the delicious slices. 
   This is a decision. 
   This is action. You have done something with your choice. But not until you have done something or performed an action with your choice is it a decision.

** A "choice" is a "selection". An "decision" is a "action". 

When you decided to wash the mango and peel it, you have moved a choice to a decision. A decision is an action proceeding the choice.

** Making decisions on a daily basis is the beginning of growth. 

HINT:  We will be learning to make decisions with a specific and direct determination to start and complete an action on a DAILY BASIS. This will provide the QUICKEST and EASIEST way to evaluate personal progress and success. By doing this we can learn how to continue to have daily successes and build more movie memories and successful constructs. This will translate into  DOING (or deciding) versus CHOOSING (or selecting)…and we can do this in a day to day pattern. If we grow in this type of pattern, it will be easy to change, evaluate and map our progress. It’s all about doing and not wanting. Once again, doing involves a decision, wanting involves only a choice. Choices are on shifting and unstable ground, but decisions are on a stable foundation and platform to build additional memories from.

There is a DIFFERENCE between a CHOICE AND A DECISION…A CHOICE .IS WHAT YOU WANT…A DECISION IS WHAT YOU WILL DO…WHAT YOU WILL DO! 
   ONLY ONE SMALL DECISION A DAY IS NEEDED TO DISCOVER AND COMPLETE A DAILY SUCCESS.

A CHOICE IS A SELECTION OF SEVERAL OPTIONS. A DECISION IS AN ACTION…if you haven’t done an action, you haven’t yet made a DECISION.

EACH DAY CAN BE APPROACHED EASILY AS A DECISION…A SMALL DAILY DECISION

This is the most productive way to progress successfully… by small "Cumulative Decisions"  day by day. The sheer mass and cumulative power of a narrative decision compiled onto each daily decision builds a self motivating forward acceleration that is almost failure proof. And... if failure arises, reset the next day. You will have lost little in the flow of the overall daily decision process. THIS IS THE PROCESS OF CUMULATIVE DAILY NARRATIVES. 

***PRACTICAL PROGRESS APPLIED***
 Resets become as easy as the next day. Adaption becomes as easy as the next day. Motivation becomes as easy as the next day. Scheduling becomes as easy as the next day. Rapid evaluation becomes as easy as the next day.... and success becomes as easy as the next day. THIS KIND IF ADAPTION IS RAPID GROWTH.

SKILL SET #6 HOW TO LET GO
 
 Actually letting go...how?

  So how do you really let go? How do you get out of the resentment of the past and out of the anxiety of the future and stay in the present or stay in today and today only. Two processes, which we’ve all ready hinted at will allow you to do this. These two processes will help adapt the movies and the memories of the how comes and what ifs. It will balance out the emotions that evaluate and change the repetitive stories, narratives and movies. And these two processes will allow you to stay in today, in the present and not be overwhelmed with yesterday or tomorrow.

!! KEY TO MOVING INTO THE PRESENT

1. NO MATTER WHAT THE EMOTION, THE MOVIE, THE NARRATIVE, THE FEELING OR THE RESENTMENT, ANGER OR ANXIETY,……….. FIND SOMETHING TO BE "THANKFUL" FOR IN THE SPECIFIC MEMORY EVENT AND BRING THAT FORWARD INTO TODAY.

***FIND SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR IN THE SPECIFIC MEMORY EVENT AND BRING THAT FORWARD INTO TODAY.

***FIND SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR IN THE SPECIFIC MEMORY EVENT AND BRING THAT FORWARD INTO TODAY.

I have just shared the process three times. This is the path forward for getting out of the past and getting out of the future…OF LETTING GO.

If you can locate and you can find something to be thankful for in any narrative, in any situation, in any memory… Then you have placed yourself and your awareness and your perspective in today… Congratulations!!!! You have just moved your perception and your emotions into the present by the simple act and decision to be THANKFUL.

THANKFULNESS IS A PRESENT STATE OF AWARENESS, THAT ADAPTS AND REFOCUSES PERCEPTION AND MEMORY INTO THE NOW.

You cannot harbor resentment or fear or anxiety if you are in the PRESENT STATE OF THANKFULNESS. This is humbling and counterintuitive I know, but it works and it works POWERFULLY AND WONDERFULLY.

***THANKFULNESS IMPELS US TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW AND TODAY.

THANKFULNESS IS THE VEHICLE THAT DRIVES US OUT OF THE MEMORIES OF THE PAST AND OUT OF THE FEAR OF THE FUTURE.

2. The second process that allows us to let go, is to really understand the reality of today and to really feel and believe that ALL WE HAVE IS IN TODAY, nothing more than today, again, nothing more than today. Each day has enough of its own.

TO LET GO IS TO KNOW TODAY IS ENOUGH.

TO LET GO IS TO KNOW TODAY IS ENOUGH.

***TO LET GO IS TO KNOW TODAY IS ENOUGH.

When we realize that we have today, that are successes, our dreams, our failures, and our struggles are enough for today…. Then we can let go of the past and begin to embrace tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

The question then becomes, if we change and adapt ourselves both inside and out, do we realize and understand that today is all we have and that all joy, all success, all change, is happening today.

Simplified, these are the two decisions and actions to let go and stay in the present of today:

1. Finding something thankful in the memory or situation.

            AND

2. Knowing today is enough for today and is success.

****These processes prompt us to be responsible with the present and when that happens…. We let go of yesterday and tomorrow.

HOMEWORK QUESTION:

Can you be in a state of fear or resentment or anxiety IF you are THANKFUL…REALLY THANKFUL?

AND

Does thankfulness REQUIRE you to be responsible for today?

INSIGHT: THANKFULNESS seems to be the only CONSTRUCTIVE STATE where you can be both the OBSERVER AND THE OBSERVED “simultaneously”… in the PRESENT MOMENT.

     
 SKILL SET #7 DAILY DECISIONS 

 Making successes by utilizing daily decisions 

  By making DAILY DECISIONS  and completing ACTIONS in a daily pattern, we can begin to create small successes. This can shape our goals. Daily decisions and daily actions march us forward to large scale goals. 
   Some may call this repetition, others may call it discipline. But however you look at it, moving forward in a daily fashion allows us to change and adapt quickly. We are more easily able to change the narratives, the stories, and the movies of the past and future by succeeding at very small actions performed on a day-to-day basis. And when a trigger comes from behind us, we can tackle it on a day-to-day basis. This way the stories and narratives and memories of the past can be rewritten through the constant process of daily action. This will create new stories, new memories and new goals that will fill our lives and our memories from living in today and not yesterday or tomorrow. We can begin to build our memories on what is happening today, then what is happening the next today, then what is happening in the next today. We can let go, by living and accepting to live for today. 

  **Both the why did this happen to me and what if I can’t handle it, fade away into what am I doing today.

This pattern of living inside cognitive processing, makes  the following vivid to our minds. It creates memories that are:

   Easier to RESET
    Easier to REWRITE
    Easier to ERASE
    Easier to SELF EVALUATE
   Easier to ORIENT AND   
     NAVIGATE
 Easier to SHARE WITH
    OTHERS
   Easier to REPEAT

   AND THEN:

  *** The next day, we create
 another action decision.

   NOTE: The emphasis here is to be satisfied with ONLY ONE DECISION A DAY.  Let me say that again: the emphasis here, is to be satisfied with only one decision a day, one decision, one success, one small action in a single day. The next day will have an entirely different success, an entirely different decision and an entirely different action for that day.
 Small successes and small actions provide the most powerful cumulative memories we can apply to our lives. By breaking down large goals into daily decisions and actions or simply (quantum packets), we can completely change the course of our lives and the memories of our past. The shear value and potential for creating new memories and new daily successes cannot be overstated. As everything in life grows day by day, so can our lives, our goals and our dreams. This is cumulative and pragmatic wisdom behind SMALL DAILY DECISIONS.

In effect, we are looking to CHANGE our lives by utilizing SMALL DAILY SUCCESSES ONLY.  The cumulative effect on our memories and our emotions are dramatic.  We can both overcome and adapt any memory, any emotion and almost any loss by living cumulatively in the present. DAILY DECISION LIVING allows us to let go of each day and start new every 24 hours. This is the unquestionable memory of growth.

THIS IS LEARNING TO LET GO ON A DAILY BASIS. This is staying out of the past and the future and LIVING IN THE PRESENT to create growth narratives you can successfully build on.

SKILL SET #8 COMMUNICATION SKILLS

THE   "US"    PATTERN:
 Understanding THEN Sharing:

The most difficult and neglected skill in any communication is understanding as the first prerequisite. We’re going to use a mnemonic that will help explain how simple communication can be if it’s followed within a framework of ebb and flow.

The mnemonic "US" can represent this simple but very powerful communication model. 

The U will represent “UNDERSTANDING"’. The S will represent “SHARING”. 
 Understanding FIRST then SHARING last. The target is  for communication to happen in an Understanding then SHARING pattern. And all effective communication works out best if it occurs in this order. 

  Think about this process...how can you ever share an opinion if you don't first really capture and understand what is intended to be communicated? Otherwise, you are just speaking from a one point perspective and from a watery and hazy viewpoint.
 The simple US process provides INSTANT CLARITY IN COMMUNICATION.

 Let's set this US process up between two people communicating.  Both are engaged and present:

There are roles in effective communication.

  One person needs to take the position of understanding only and first and the other person can take the position of sharing.

The person that is doing the talking or sharing needs to be uninterrupted and needs to be able to complete the entire communication or story and facts until they are understood by the listener. 

In this communication style each person has a job: one is to understand and the other is to share, each taking a turn in the process.

For the person that’s doing the understanding, they need to listen intently without interruption until they understand what is being communicated. If they cannot understand, then it’s up to the person sharing to reframe the communication in a way that things can be understood. Only after the person understanding can ask the question of the sharing person:  "Do you feel I understood you?"  and the question answered can be "YES" has communication really been effective. No matter how many times the understanding person needs to hear the information or the story, until there is understanding in any way shape or form is the cycle complete.

  It is the responsibility of the person sharing the information to rephrase, reframe, restate, or create examples for the listener that they will be able to understand.

Both parties have a job. The understanding person has a job to understand what is being said and communicated. No bias or interruption or sharing is allowed during the understanding process. The job is just to understand, not to comment not to evaluate not to share. AT THE UNINTERRUPTED END OF THE SHARING PERSONS TALK, THE UNDERSTANDER WILL REPEAT BACK TO THE SHARER WHAT HE JUST HEARD…IF THERE WAS NOT COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING, THE SHARER WILL REFRAME OR TRY TO SHARE IN A DIFFERENT WAY “UNTIL” HIS COMMUNICATION IS UNDERSTOOD.

The Sharing person has a job of communicating however they are able to complete the communication until the other person understands.

  At no point are there any personal involvements or over the top personal responses during this communication.

 Only after the "US" cycle has been completed and understanding and sharing have been completed, can the roles be reversed so that the understanding person can now share and respond to what he understood.

The US cycle of communication needs complete respect for the rules and cycle process inherent within it.
 This cycle which may feel a bit contrived, eliminates all of the Cross feedback, confusion and banter that occurs in all types of conversation.

***Please note that the understanding first and then sharing process of US communication is extremely effective because it places the responsibility to listen and understand first then provides the time, freedom and platform to share with patience and respect.

So often we are not present and are absorbed by our own emotions and our own perceptions in disorganized talking.  We are not really understanding what is being said. So often we are not present in our own emotions and our own perceptions and not really sharing effectively.

 Try this system out when you haven’t been able to communicate very well in any environment or with any individual. It may be a bit awkward at first, but it does create a very effective communication bond very quickly, allowing each individual the right and respect to be understood and to share in turn. This creates easy and clean communication when it is necessary to reach agreements and compassion.

SKILL SET #9 COMMUNICATION IS AGREEMENT

  Effective communication has a purpose: that PURPOSE is primarily, to come to an AGREEMENT.

  When an agreement is made between two people, three other things are implied in the agreement. These are hidden or packed alongside the agreement, but become just as vital as the decision to agree itself.

1. TRUST… The mutual understanding that the agreement will NOT BE BROKEN. (it can be re-negotiated but should not be broken by either participant)

2. A STATE OF CLOSENESS…the feeling of resolution and comfort in making the agreement.

3. SHARING…the open invitation to share the experiences and follow up with the agreement in progress.

  What needs to be understood in effective communication, is that at any point the agreement is broken, for any reason, then all three of the other processes that accompanied the agreement, the mutual TRUST, the CLOSENESS, and the ability to SHARE, all suffer and are also BROKEN at the same time the agreement was broken. 
 Most people do not understand that the breaking of an agreement incorporates the other three elements and so when they don’t feel close to somebody after they have broken an agreement they can't figure the relationship out. When they feel they can’t trust the individual when they’ve broken an agreement they don’t have confidence in the relationship. And when they feel that they’re sharing and the ability to share has been stifled or lacking after they’ve broken the agreement, they lose the relationship.

 So the takeaway from knowing what happens in an agreement is in valuing, keeping and ensuring that an agreement will stand in place and be completed by both participants. Otherwise, the other three elements of the agreement which are packed into and hidden in the agreement process will suffer and cause communication confusion. Understanding what is at stake in making an agreement is vital to a commitment with another individual. Because so much can be lost at the break of an agreement, it might even be better to really evaluate ornot even make the agreement without understanding the potential for the loss of trust, closeness, and the ability to share.

 The suggestion is that you should evaluate the relationship if there is an agreement that has been broken. You probably will have have lost trust, when you have lost a sense of closeness or when you have lost the ability to share. Understanding this will help you reestablish communication by trying to re-negotiate a lesser or less impacting agreement that will not be broken.
 In a words, keep your agreements and you will be able to keep the communication of trust, the communication of closeness, and the communication of sharing.

SKILL SET #10 THE PURPOSE

Honoring Others FIRST

  ***There is a very extremely important reason for growth to occur. In the end of all our evaluations, life is really about WHAT WE SHARE WITH AND ON THE BEHALF OF OTHERS AROUND US. 
 We grow and we give, so that others may give in return. Our growth has a purpose and it’s not just for ourselves. We grow to SHARE WITH OTHERS. 
 In effect, we grow to learn how to give to someone else. And this is to give to our partners, our children, our families, and our friends and neighbors. We become more balanced, congruent and regulated so that others will benefit. 
 
   We learn to capture and adapt our own memories and our own decisions and goals so that others may benefit.

  BECAUSE:

    We are never really alone.

   We should give, preferring and lifting up others above ourselves.
 
     We  Bless so that others will bless in return.
    
    We do good and honor others so that others CAN decide to do the same.

  This is the reason of our healing, that we may heal others.

    We grow so that others may grow.

  This is the compassionate reason for the journey we call life.  This is overcoming the past and the future.

 **You have just completed the Personal Evaluation Program (PEP) 

Let's review a little: 

A QUICK FOLLOW-UP:

OVERCOMING REPEATING PROBLEMS

*”The following is a pictorial processing model to assist you in building new functions in processing repetitive and troubling narratives.  If you will take this model seriously, you may find that then, you can create your own model by understanding what occurs in triggered and reacurring memories.

*** OVERCOMING A Problem

1. Pick a problem, locate a repeating memory.

2. Picture you are in a tennis match with yourself. You are playing both sides of the court at the same time. This is a game to win a solution to your problem.

3. One side of the Court is the memory movies of your Past concerning the difficulty. The other side of the Court is the memory movies of the Future concerning your difficulty.

4. The tennis ball will be your struggles and worries, which you’ll be hitting back and forth from the Past to the Future, back and forth.

5. Watch the Past memory movie as you hit the struggle from the past to the Future. Watch the Future memory movie as you hit the struggle from the Future back to the Past. As you hit the ball back and forth, watch youself process the movies as the memories move from Past to Future and from Future back to the Past very quickly. Back and forth in seconds. What do you see? More important, what do you feel as you watch this back and forth?

6. Can you see that EVERY feeling FOLLOWS what you are watching? FEELINGS are the PRODUCT of watching a back and forth memory movie, Past to Future, Future back to Past.

7. The Past Feelings are WHY ME… Why did this happen to me.  The Future Feelings are WHAT IF this happens.

8. Decide to END this game of repetitive back and forth movie memories and back and forth feelings. HOW?

9. DECLARE yourself to be the REFEREE of the game and decide: “TIME IS UP, THE GAME IS OVER… THE PAST IS EXPIRED, THE FUTURE IS NOT PART OF TODAY.

10. Decide to do a small, very small task TODAY… MAKE IT SMALL... DO IT TODAY. This is winning today’s game not yesterday’s and not tomorrow’s. This is DAILY SUCCESS.

This is LIVING IN THE PRESENT FOR TODAY’S SUCCESS. Today is more than enough of a success for anyone.

This is LIVING LIFE in  REAL TIME.

QUESTIONS FOR SELF EVALUATION:

**************EVALUATION. QUESTIONS

***The following questions should help you evaluate what you have learned and what you understand from the PEP program. Take the time to refresh the information or a concept if you cannot answer a question to your satisfaction.

1. Can you balance reasonable goals daily with what you want and what you do?

2. Do you present yourself as equally the same inside as outward?

3. Are your feelings moderate on a daily basis?

4. Can you let go and move forward from past memories?

5. Have you been able to change the models, narratives, and constructs, you have built as memories?

6. Do you understand the triggers in repetitive cycles of “how come” past narratives or stories?

7. Do you understand the self-destructive cycle of “what if” anxiety and future narratives or stories?

8. Can you actually say to yourself that you know that today is all you are really given?

9. Do you understand that letting go is embracing today alone and adapting for today?

10. Can you understand and recognize that Systemic Constructs build your self image and beliefs?

11. Can you understand and recognize that Distributive Constructs are designed to keep you safe?

12. Can you understand and recognize that Temporary Constructs are designed to help you get what you want and make decisions?

13. Do you recognize at which point you can adapt and change a Construct Memory?

14. Can you fully understand that letting go occurs only in living in the Present and in Today?

15. Can you differentiate between a choice and a decision or from what you choose from what you do and decide to do?

16. Do you see the advantages of making small daily decisions as a cumulative progression and a daily success?

17. Do you know the importance of thankfulness as a state of mind and emotion to keep you in the present?

18. Can you bring the thankfulness and good side of any memory forward into today?

19. Do you know that each day has enough of its own to live for and in?

20. By living in the present, can you reset, rewrite, erase, and evaluate past memories and narratives?

21. Can you see the success advantage of making only one small decision a day?

22. Can you develop a conversation style that understands FIRST and THEN shares your perspective?

23. Do you know the components of agreement that are either built or lost with an agreement... the components of Trust, Closeness and Sharing?

24. Do you realize that your personal growth is closely tied to helping others?

25. Do you know that you cannot prosper and grow without others?

THE PROCESS

1. Define the terms. Give the skills of NAVIGATION AND NOMENCLATURE to access a new data environment.

2. Explain the Construct perspective

3. Illustrate adaption and rewriting changes in Memory Constructs

4. Reveal the Past and Future holds, triggers and processing in ping ponging storage mechanisms.

5. Define success in growth as a DAILY EVENT

6. Divide large tasks into small manageable and adaptable narratives.

7. Show the superior advantage of cumulative Daily Success.

8. Explain the responsibility in an altruistic approach to growth.

****TOOLS FOR EVALUATION

1. Images for BALANCE, CONGRUENCE, REGULATION
 see saw, railroad tracks, balloon man.

2. Past, present, future MOVIES AS MEMORY: adapt and change perspectives in REAL TIME.

3. PING PONGING stress and processing as Past or future constructs

4. LETTING GO EFFORT as collapsing the past and future into the PRESENT. The
 Past is gone, the future is a vapor.  What we have been given is today a gift.

5. DAILY SUCCESSES as edits, resets, adaptions as lined up dominoes.

6. Decisions VS Choices as
 Progress and growth.

7. (U S)  as UNDERSTAND FIRST THEN SHARE

8. Relationship Evaluation and Synchronicity as 1 or 2 step or rest communication.

9. Give so OTHERS WILL GIVE… GROW SO OTHERS WILL GROW.

**Lastly: A SIMPLE GUIDELINE FOR DAILY EVALUATION

 Try this out and use it.  It's great for a quick eval every day or when problems arise:

1. Are there any real conflicts with your balance or congruence or regulation TODAY?

2. Do you have any recurring constructs or movie memories that keep playing in your head?

3. Is the memory in the past or future?  Why?

 4. Can you let go of it for just TODAY?

5. What are you thankful for about the event?

6. Can you make a TODAY small decision about it and take small action?

7. How will your decision and action help someone else TODAY?

 These 7 Daily questions should help you stay on track with what you have learned and even give rise to more solutions.

Respectfully, Robert Wallace

CONTACT US:

If you would like to contact us by email for support, assistance or suggestions, please EMAIL US at:

[email protected] or use the contact page to send your email and questions.

Thank you.

            Robert Wallace